20 SOMETHING STRUGGLES

I’ve been beyond stuck on Sza’s new album and listening to “20 Something” inspired me to write about a few things I have been struggling with in my early 20′s.

1. Feeling like I should have it “all together”                                                            This is probably what I struggle with the most. I am about a month and a half away from earning my bachelor’s degree and I’m constantly being asked “What are going to do now?” The truth is, I don’t know. I didn’t even know what I wanted to study until junior year. I changed my major several times. Now I’m about to finish the program I am interested in, but I still don’t exactly know what I want to do. I did a few internships, but I didn’t want to work at those places. I see other people my age already making moves and I feel like I am behind. I want a new car and to move away from home, but I’m not financially ready. It’s frustrating trying to get to where I feel like I should be.

2. Jobs                                                                                                                      I basically quit every job I get. I just don’t like to work in an environment I no longer feel comfortable in. Everything is usually fine in the beginning. Then management, co-workers, and customers begin to irritate my soul. Most jobs want you to do a maximum amount of work for minimal pay, and I’m definitely not OK with that. I busted my ass at a retail store for $9 an hour. I waited on cheap, difficult customers for $5- $10 tips. It’s not that I think I’m “too good” for these jobs. I just don’t want to lose myself in the process of making money. If a job is causing me emotional stress, its not worth it. Also, being weeks away from a degree reminds me that I can have a career. Not a job.

3. Dating                                                                                                                    I really don’t know what my problem is when it comes to dating. People try to talk to me all the time, but I’m never interested. The little flings I did have were epic fails. I’m not scarred for life. I’m just chilling until I find someone I’m on the same page with. I don’t feel the need to entertain every guy that comes my way just because. I want to wait on something real.

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YouTube Is a Job Now

I always wondered how people turned making YouTube videos into a career. I’m not a crazed fan, but I am subscribed to a few YouTube “gurus”. I mostly watch videos about beauty and fashion.

I look at their videos and wonder how they can afford all of their expensive beauty products and fancy equipment. These vloggers never really mention having a real job. These people are around the same age as me but their living a lifestyle that is much more lavish than mine. They are full time vloggers.

I always knew that vloggers who were very popular got paid by advertisers. But I didn’t know that YouTube put on workshops that basically teaches them how to vlog professionally.

It seems like these vloggers magically gain a large amount of followers overnight. I now understand that it’s because these people are given the platform and necessary tools to be professionals.

As audience members we are more likely to trust the opinion of someone who appears to be an expert in their field. This is what I do when I watch my favorite vloggers on YouTube. I watch their hair tutorials because their hair always looks glamorous.

They clearly know what they’re doing if their hairstyles come out perfectly every time. I would prefer their videos over someone who appeared to be more of an amateur. Then as audience members, we begin to trust their opinions in other aspects of life.

Most vloggers who become really popular eventually end up making videos that aren’t related to what their videos were originally about. Because the beauty vloggers are always dressed in cute clothes in their hair tutorials, I watch their fashion videos. Because their skin always looks flawless in their make-up tutorials, I watch their skincare videos.

What makes these people qualified to give advice about all these different topics?  Nothing other than the fact that they have the professional look. I am also more likely to trust their opinions in other areas because I already associate with their other videos.

The workshops that are provided by YouTube give these vloggers the professional look that attracts more viewers.

I almost feel like a pawn in the broadcasting system’s master game of chess. Like I am just another mindless viewer. Unfortunately I cannot help being a mindless viewer. When I don’t know what to do with my hair, I know I can just get on YouTube and look up an easy tutorial.

If I don’t know what to wear, I can search lookbooks up on YouTube to give me ideas. The  When YouTube Discovered Craft article says that YouTube has now become an “everyday media experience.”

This is definitely true in my life and I’m sure this is true for many other people as well. It is almost inevitable. I don’t think this is a bad thing. Everyday people get to earn a piece of the good ole’ American pie.

Besides I think that there will always be a market for actual professionals. Companies are going to need people who are formally educated and prepared. A college educated journalist and a YouTube vlogger are simple two different kinds of professionals. I think there is room in the media for both of them.

Progressiveness In Media

Progressive theorists believed that America would be much more powerful if everyone in American society felt unified. If everyone believes that they are on the same team, they are more likely to direct their anger towards another country or culture.

When I think about what I see in the media today, I can definitely see this concept. Much of what we see is American news. American media and education does not include a lot of information about other countries and their cultures.

This media promotes nationalism without the audience knowing. We are so used to seeing people like us who do the same things we do. When we are exposed to someone from another culture who may behave differently we don’t know how to react. The beginning of radio was a nationalistic project.

This is an example of how the progressive idea of everyone feeling unified is used in the media. As media industry became more commercial the goal became to make money. The only way for media industry to make money is by getting members of society to watch and listen to their programs.

The audience has to feel connected to the media for that to occur. I think that is the reason the media mainly focuses on American issues. We are not taught to look at things from the perspective of people who have different cultures. The media wants us to resonate with that they are putting out.

The media industry is very powerful and the progressives were weary of this power. Progressives were also worried about how easily the media would influence society. What is seen in the media has the potential to create social norms.

The populist concept believed that if a group of people felt strongly enough about an issue they would resist attempts to define and control them. I agree with the populist view to an extent. I do think that people have the power to get their views on a particular subject heard by the public.

But I do not think that the power of the people is enough to outweigh the power of the media. For example, African Americans have struggled with their representation in the media from the beginning.

Though the African American community has made a lot of progress and tried to redefine themselves multiple times throughout history, there is still a large amount of stereotypes about the African American that exist in the media.

I do think that what the African American community has accomplished is enough to cause social change. Because of everything African Americans have achieved you see more people in society who feel as though they can connect with them.

However, you don’t see a lot of positive programming about the African American community on the major networks. Music and reality TV make up most of what we see about African Americans. Or at least these are the shows that the most light is shed on.

The stereotypical images get the most screen time. The only way the images of African American in the media would change is if the people in charge wanted to do so.

Why My Outfits Are So Important To Me

I have to admit that my outfits aren’t always fabulous. Some days I look so rough that I don’t even recognize myself. However, I put a lot of effort into my outfits when I do decide to put something together.

First impressions are the most important and what you’re wearing says a lot about you. I never understood how people could just not care about what they wear. It may seem trivial, but people judge you based on your appearance.

People should really stop saying that looks don’t matter. There are entire industries built around people’s appearance. It probably shouldn’t matter as much as it does, but that’s the way it is.

I love getting dressed. I’m not really into hair and makeup, but I will spend hours in my closet figuring out what I want to wear. I like to put my own spin on all of my outfits. If I saw an outfit I liked on a celebrity or on Pinterest, I make sure to make it different from what I saw.

In my opinion, its one of the only things you really have control over. You can’t change people’s mind about you or make them accept you. You can control what they see when they look at you.

What do you want people to think when they see you? I wan’t people to know that I’m unique, sassy, girly, a little tomboyish, a little sexy, and carefree.

I used to get teased a lot during my younger years and I spent a lot of time wishing I looked different. It’s easy to say that words don’t matter, but it’s hard to overcome the emotional trauma. I remember getting off the bus crying one day because the kids talked about me so badly.

Confidence is something that you have to develop on your own. It took me a long time to do this. That’s why I take so much pride in what I wear. I spent too many years wishing people wouldn’t look at me. Now, I embrace it and give them something to look at.

5 Reasons PCB Is Overrated

I believed all the hype I had heard about Panama City Beach. People told me so many stories about how wild and crazy things got in PCB during spring break. I went down there expecting the the time of my life and I was thoroughly disappointed. Here the reasons why I think PCB is overrated:

  1. Typical parties- There was absolutely nothing special about the parties that took place while I was in PCB. Seeing girls twerking and taking off their clothes, getting drunk, and people fighting are common occurrences at college parties in Atlanta.
  2. Everyone goes- You literally see the same people you see on campus every day. The only difference is, you’re on the beach. I saw the same people I always see at Georgia State and it took away feeling of escape associated with being on vacation.
  3. People aren’t that friendly- I was under the assumption that I was going to make a lot of new friends. Wrong! Everyone stayed in their little cliques for the most part. Guys only talked to you if you were giving up the goods and all the girls were taking pictures.
  4. There’s nothing to do- I was glad I only stayed for a few days. It got pretty boring after the 2nd day. You wake up, walk the strip, go to the beach, go to your room and change, go to the club, and repeat. People were hanging out at Walmart for fun.
  5. Police- The police clearly don’t approve of the spring break festivities. They always seemed to be around, eager to ruin the fun. They have even banned alcohol.

Don’t waste your time going. There are much more fun places  you can go on spring break.

My Crazy Roomate

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Being in college has a way of forcing you into interesting situations. I had issues with my roommates every year I stayed on campus at Georgia State. The universe obviously hates me.

My freshmen year one of my roommates was constantly stealing my food. She always denied it, but she was the only one in the dorm who didn’t have a meal plan. Everyone’s else’s food and drinks went missing and it was obvious that it was her.

That same year another one of my roommates asked me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. That was probably the weirdest thing anyone has ever asked me. The one other roommate I had stirred up so much drama between me and my group of “friends” at the time. It was literally like a scene out of “Mean Girls.”

But none of these experiences topped what I went through with my roommate sophomore year. Let’s call her Hellena. Get it?

So, Hellena moved into the dorm with me and my other roommates a few weeks into Spring semester. She cooked me and another one on my roommates a full blown feast the first night she stayed in the dorm. There was crabs, fried shrimp, fried fish, and fries. We watched whatever tour Beyoncé was on at the time while we ate .

So I’m thinking that this is great. Until I woke up the next morning to find that she left EVERYTHING from the night before out. There was crab shells, plates, and cooking grease everywhere. The entire room smelled like a fish market.

So she’s a little dirty? She still seemed to be pretty cool. Or so I thought. So a few days go by and she starts to tell everyone about her background. Apparently her father was some kind a drug lord who left her an enormous amount of money that she pinches off of every year. Not sure if that’s the kinda thing you should tell strangers.

She had people over EVERY single night. She and her friends would stay up, make noise, and play music until around 4 am. I like my sleep, so this really aggravated me.

At this point I’m still giving her the benefit of the doubt. So she’s dirty and obnoxious. She still seemed cool. Wrong!

Hellena had a different guy over every few days. I don’t like having strange guys in and out of my dorm. She even had one guy living in the dorm with us at one point. Pretty sure that was against the campus housing rules.

But it gets even more weird. She got more comfortable with us over the next few weeks. So comfortable that she started asking to borrow things. She asked me to borrow some lotion. I think that every woman should have her own personal products, but I let her use the lotion.

I thought she would take the lotion and go in her own room to apply it. She gets naked and applies the lotion in front of me. I didn’t know we were that close. Then she started borrowing things without asking. One time she took a pair of my roommates shoes out her of closet and wore them without permission. We ran into her and she was wearing them.

She took my other roommate’s Ipad and sent nudes to whoever was her “boo” at the time. My roommate had all of her apple products connected to her Icloud and the nudes popped up while we were watching a video on her phone. Awkward.

The story ends with her cursing me out for “talking about her” behind her back. If talking about all of the weird stuff she was doing is “talking about her”, then so be it. I didn’t even  argue back. I thought it was funny how she waited until the day she was moving out to confront me. I was just glad she was leaving. Good riddance.

Why I’m Still Single

 

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Three of my cousins, who are all around my age, just got engaged. One one of my cousins, who just graduated from Georgia State, just got married. Another one of my cousins is getting married next year. One of my aunts just got married. Another one of my aunts is getting ready to have a baby. Whew!

Love was definitely in the air this year, not for me though. Going to family functions and having to answer the same questions about my love life is so agonizing. It seems that the only things my family ever asks me about is school and dating.

“So, how’s school going?” “When are you graduating?” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “All those people at Georgia State and you can’t find anybody” “Jonathon found somebody, why can’t you?” “What are you looking for?”

I get so tired of hearing and answering these questions. One of my family members even asked me if I was a lesbian. The guaranteed embarrassment does a great job of keeping me away from family functions. I don’t plan on seeing my whole family until I graduate college.

So, why am I single? I’m young, pretty, funny, intelligent, and have a good head on my shoulders. People actually tell me this. I’m not just tooting my own horn….

Maybe a little bit.

Firstly, I am single by choice. I have never been the type of girl who threw herself at anyone who was interested in me. I am firm believer that women don’t have to be interested in everyone who is interested in them.

I hate when people say “So, you would miss out on a great guy because…. blah blah?”Yes. Yes, I would. If someone was so great for me they would have a majority of the qualities I am looking for. Why should I have to lower my standards to appease other people?

I know that  nobody is perfect and I am not looking for perfection. I want to be in a relationship with someone who actually has feelings for me. Is that so bad?

I don’t believe in casual dating and I definitely don’t believe in giving away my body. I don’t see the point in “talking” and having sex with someone just because I’m bored or lonely. I don’t like playing with someone’s emotions. I don’t want anyone to do that to me.

A lot of people rush into things and the outcome is often horrible. I have seen it with my own eyes. Plenty of my female friends have cried on my shoulders because so and so lied or cheated. I have seen my mother get hurt a thousand times.

Why put yourself through all of this emotional trauma for a quick fix? I believe that all of this can be avoided by waiting around for the right person. No matter how long that may take.

I know that this is very anti 2016. Everyone is sliding in DM’s these days. I want to have an instant connection with my Mr. Right face to face and I’m going to wait until I get it.

Zain Asher Shadowing

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I had the pleasure of shadowing Zain Asher yesterday. She is currently an Atlanta-based anchor for CNN international. She anchors on CNN Newsroom and hosts Marketplace Africa. Asher was born and raised in London and she has lived in Mexico, France, and Nigeria. She speaks Ibo, French and Spanish fluently.

Although her resume is thoroughly impressive, it doesn’t do her personality any justice. She is such a sweetheart. I was a little nervous about meeting someone who appears on television. Being able to contact some who is on TV almost seems like an unattainable goal.Especially with someone who works at the number one news station.

I never thought I would have the opportunity to meet these kinds of people until later in my career. I am still just a regular college student. I was pleased to  find out that she wasn’t stuck up or rude. A lot of people get a little clout and let it go to their heads.

Just about every with a few thousand social media followers considers themselves a “public figure.” Although there are some people in Atlanta that are doing amazing things, a large amount of them are far from public figures.

Going to the concierge desk at the CNN center, telling them who I was, and having them tell me my name was in the system felt pretty cool. A lot of people would give anything to be able to get their foot in the door at CNN.

Zain greeted me with the warmest smile and she was dressed fabulously. She seemed so excited to meet me and I appreciated this. I was originally supposed to shadow her a few weeks ago, but some things came up. She took me around the the building and introduced me to everyone we encountered on our little tour.

I felt a little bit like a celebrity.

I love her accent. One of the radio personalities at the station I use to intern for faked a British accent while she was on air. I thought that was really weird and unethical. It was refreshing to here a genuine accent.

She showed me where she gets her hair and makeup done. I wish I had that setup in my room. There was big mirrors, bright lights, and rows of Mac makeup. Luckily, Zain gets all of her makeup for free. I wish.

I was able to sit in the control room and watch her anchor from there. I am a little upset that you have to buy a special cable package to get the CNN international channel, but I enjoyed being able to watch it for a little while.

So much goes into making a television show. I have said that before, but I saw even more job opportunities when i visited CNN. There is literally a job for everything in television. I learned so much in only two short hours at CNN international. I can not wait for the opportunity to go back.

Summer’s Over Tour

For whatever reason, people always cancel on me when it’s time to go to a concert. We make the plan in advance. I remind the person I’m supposed to be going with about the show SEVERAL times. They say “Oh yeah! I’m going to get my ticket.” Then they cancel on me via text the day of.

My so called “best friend” never told me that she didn’t get her ticket to J Cole’s Forest Hills Drive tour. She even watched all of the snaps I posted while I was at the concert. Even after all this, she still never physically told me why she didn’t buy her ticket or apologize for leaving me hanging.

People have a habit of doing things they wouldn’t want to be done to them. That is a story for another time.

No one really wants to go to a concert alone. It doesn’t seem like that much fun. You don’t have anyone to talk to or take pictures with. The people around are probably staring wondering why you’re by yourself.

A few weeks ago, I was that person. I ended up going to the Forest Hills Drive tour by myself so I was much more confident about going alone. The Summer’s Over tour was at a much smaller venue and that boosted my confidence even more.

Why did I go alone? I love concerts. I love music and being able to see some of my favorite artists live is a great feeling for me. I am an Aquarius and we are known for not being very open about our emotions. Listening to music helps me get in touch with how I am feeling.

I must admit it was a little awkward. There was A LOT of people who came to see Partynextdoor and Jeremih. The line was wrapped around the Tabernacle before the doors opened. I could feel people staring at me and being anywhere by yourself makes you feel pretty hopeless.

Thankfully, every one was there was around my age and after a little liquid courage I didn’t mind being by myself.

The show was great. I knew all of the songs and I sang along to every one. I’m glad the bass from the speakers and people screaming drowned out the song of my off-key singing. I could have done without people who were trying to get to the very front elbowing me in the ribs.

Overall, I had a great time. Going to a concert alone isn’t as bad as you think. If you’re thinking about going to a concert alone, don’t think about it. Just go . You will have a great time.

My Visit to Georgia Public Broadcasting

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Recently, I visited Georgia Public Broadcasting and I was thoroughly impressed  by its facility. If you are interested in a career in broadcast media, I highly recommend visiting GPB.

I had never been there before the tour and I didn’t know so many television shows I watched were shot there. Atlanta is becoming the new Hollywood and GPB is contributing to that change.

The facility is very aesthetically pleasing. The atrium on the ground floor is full of interesting color schemes and modern decor. There are several television screens incorporated into the interior design which showcase the programs that are made there.

The space is so beautiful that it is also used as a reception hall when large-scale events are taking place there. I’m sure no one would mind waiting in GPB’s attractive lobby.

Rosser was our tour guide and he was simply amazing. It is clear that the staff is a very knowledgeable and passionate group. Everyone who we met on the tour was friendly and more than willing to answer questions.

Studio C was the first studio we saw on the tour and it is the largest one in the facility. The rental price for this studio is $5,000 per day. Unlike many other studios, GPB includes everything in their rental rates. The studios are all equipped with top of the line cameras and lighting.

It was very interesting to see that everything on television starts out as a “black box.” When I am watching television I assume that the set is real, but a great deal of shows are shot in a studio.

We actually got a see a set that started out as a “black box” and ended up being a science lab. The science lab was the set of “Chemistry Matters”, a science program that is shown to high school students.

During the tour, MiMi Ricks stopped by to inform us that GPB was looking for interns. She also gave all of the students business cards. This made me feel like I am not wasting my time in college.

A lot of people told me that there wasn’t any money in the field of journalism and that I wasn’t going to be able to get a job. Those people don’t know what they’re talking about.

There are so many people that play a part in the creation of broadcast media. Visiting GPB gave me a visual representation of all of the opportunities that are available in the field of journalism.

 

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