20 SOMETHING STRUGGLES

I’ve been beyond stuck on Sza’s new album and listening to “20 Something” inspired me to write about a few things I have been struggling with in my early 20′s.

1. Feeling like I should have it “all together”                                                            This is probably what I struggle with the most. I am about a month and a half away from earning my bachelor’s degree and I’m constantly being asked “What are going to do now?” The truth is, I don’t know. I didn’t even know what I wanted to study until junior year. I changed my major several times. Now I’m about to finish the program I am interested in, but I still don’t exactly know what I want to do. I did a few internships, but I didn’t want to work at those places. I see other people my age already making moves and I feel like I am behind. I want a new car and to move away from home, but I’m not financially ready. It’s frustrating trying to get to where I feel like I should be.

2. Jobs                                                                                                                      I basically quit every job I get. I just don’t like to work in an environment I no longer feel comfortable in. Everything is usually fine in the beginning. Then management, co-workers, and customers begin to irritate my soul. Most jobs want you to do a maximum amount of work for minimal pay, and I’m definitely not OK with that. I busted my ass at a retail store for $9 an hour. I waited on cheap, difficult customers for $5- $10 tips. It’s not that I think I’m “too good” for these jobs. I just don’t want to lose myself in the process of making money. If a job is causing me emotional stress, its not worth it. Also, being weeks away from a degree reminds me that I can have a career. Not a job.

3. Dating                                                                                                                    I really don’t know what my problem is when it comes to dating. People try to talk to me all the time, but I’m never interested. The little flings I did have were epic fails. I’m not scarred for life. I’m just chilling until I find someone I’m on the same page with. I don’t feel the need to entertain every guy that comes my way just because. I want to wait on something real.