My Crazy Roomate

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Being in college has a way of forcing you into interesting situations. I had issues with my roommates every year I stayed on campus at Georgia State. The universe obviously hates me.

My freshmen year one of my roommates was constantly stealing my food. She always denied it, but she was the only one in the dorm who didn’t have a meal plan. Everyone’s else’s food and drinks went missing and it was obvious that it was her.

That same year another one of my roommates asked me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. That was probably the weirdest thing anyone has ever asked me. The one other roommate I had stirred up so much drama between me and my group of “friends” at the time. It was literally like a scene out of “Mean Girls.”

But none of these experiences topped what I went through with my roommate sophomore year. Let’s call her Hellena. Get it?

So, Hellena moved into the dorm with me and my other roommates a few weeks into Spring semester. She cooked me and another one on my roommates a full blown feast the first night she stayed in the dorm. There was crabs, fried shrimp, fried fish, and fries. We watched whatever tour Beyoncé was on at the time while we ate .

So I’m thinking that this is great. Until I woke up the next morning to find that she left EVERYTHING from the night before out. There was crab shells, plates, and cooking grease everywhere. The entire room smelled like a fish market.

So she’s a little dirty? She still seemed to be pretty cool. Or so I thought. So a few days go by and she starts to tell everyone about her background. Apparently her father was some kind a drug lord who left her an enormous amount of money that she pinches off of every year. Not sure if that’s the kinda thing you should tell strangers.

She had people over EVERY single night. She and her friends would stay up, make noise, and play music until around 4 am. I like my sleep, so this really aggravated me.

At this point I’m still giving her the benefit of the doubt. So she’s dirty and obnoxious. She still seemed cool. Wrong!

Hellena had a different guy over every few days. I don’t like having strange guys in and out of my dorm. She even had one guy living in the dorm with us at one point. Pretty sure that was against the campus housing rules.

But it gets even more weird. She got more comfortable with us over the next few weeks. So comfortable that she started asking to borrow things. She asked me to borrow some lotion. I think that every woman should have her own personal products, but I let her use the lotion.

I thought she would take the lotion and go in her own room to apply it. She gets naked and applies the lotion in front of me. I didn’t know we were that close. Then she started borrowing things without asking. One time she took a pair of my roommates shoes out her of closet and wore them without permission. We ran into her and she was wearing them.

She took my other roommate’s Ipad and sent nudes to whoever was her “boo” at the time. My roommate had all of her apple products connected to her Icloud and the nudes popped up while we were watching a video on her phone. Awkward.

The story ends with her cursing me out for “talking about her” behind her back. If talking about all of the weird stuff she was doing is “talking about her”, then so be it. I didn’t even  argue back. I thought it was funny how she waited until the day she was moving out to confront me. I was just glad she was leaving. Good riddance.

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